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HAI JEONG LEE
Missionary & Ex-Acupuncturist
Hai Jeong Lee is a missionary and former acupuncturist. After experiencing bouts of homelessness, he devoted his life to spreading the word of God and acts of kindness. Lee has traveled all over the world on his missions, from Myanmar to Afghanistan to Laos, and currently resides in Koreatown, where he takes English classes at LACCC and is determined to revitalize the Korean-American community.
First off, when did you immigrate to the United States?
I came when I was older. I don’t remember exactly, but maybe it was 2002 or 2003? Where did you attend school? When I came to America, I went to a seminary. The school no longer exists, but the school gave me a scholarship and a student visa so I was able to attend. Nothing lasted, though. The school no longer exists. If you look at a certain point of view, then it can look very unhappy. I came to America thinking I would achieve the American dream, but I was unable to. After I graduated school, I started pursuing oriental medicine. I was always interested in that field, ever since I was young because my grandfather also practiced oriental medicine. I studied at a oriental medicine school, and graduated from there. I studied very painstakingly through the five year process. But the biggest problem was that I couldn’t speak English, and that I did not have the money. So life became very difficult. There were payments to be made and hours to work. After I graduated school, I thought life would be easier but that was not the case. But, I realized something. It wasn’t fitting of me to pursue money. This is because if you want to make money, you have to scam people. If you are not cunning or if you are too honest, you cannot make money. But I have lived an innocent life. I have lived innocently, but the world is complicated. So 10 years ago, after I finished studying as a student, I moved to Maryland. You know, there’s a saying that all the scammers in the world come to Los Angeles. So instead, I went to DC, where I would be safe to make money. I went there and opened an acupuncture clinic. Do you think I got the business that I wanted? An acupuncture clinic can only thrive if it prescribes medicine to its clients. That’s the only way you can get the materials you need and pay the receptionist. If you only do acupuncture, it is hard to make a living. I ended up closing the clinic due to hardships. Very recently I got a parking ticket, so I had to go to the parking offense office and there was a long line of people who also had parking tickets. The expression on their faces were all unhappy. I then looked at the workers’ faces, and saw that the expression on their faces were all unhappy too. Why? Because the workers spend all day looking at community members with unhappy faces, so it also causes them to make unhappy faces. That’s why I think even if you are forced to get a job, you should get a job that helps others. If you are a person that helps others, then it is even good for your mental health on top of making other people happy. That is why even if the income might be low, you must choose a job that makes your heart peaceful-- that’s how you achieve the American Dream. If you choose to chase after things merely from what you want materialistically, then the American Dream is failure. Right now I’m enrolled in an English learning class at Los Angeles County Community College. After I became homeless, I couldn’t do anything about my situation because I couldn’t speak English. When people first immigrate to America, their situations are so hard that they must give up learning to speak English. Before learning the language, the immigrants must first find a way to survive. After going through that, I realized that even though I need to find food to eat and a way to live, learning English is better for the bigger picture. I hope that when immigrants first come, they make the right choice. So you’ve said that you had trouble communicating because your lack of English speaking abilities. Did you have any trouble with legal or social services because of the fact that you couldn’t speak English? Oh, of course. I started questioning myself, thinking, why did I leave my beautiful hometown of Chuncheon mountains to live this difficult life? I couldn’t even eat what I wanted. My student life days were a hungry time. A lack of language speaking skills is a disability that impacts every part of your life. Little stresses built up because of my lack of experience. And of course, with despair comes suicidal thoughts. But do you think I’d be here today if I successfully committed suicide? And with suicide attemps, you have to deal with the aftereffects. Then depression and bipolar disorder soon follows. I was not able to control my own emotions. At first you don’t know, but as more and more disruptive events happen in your life, the damage on your heart becomes greater. So in truth, I am currently in the middle of treatment for my depression. I have become a patient. The distressing thing about immigration life is that the culture shift is immense. Koreans tend to group together but reject anyone who is different. Everyone has their own struggles, but Koreans will only listen to the rumors and judge the person based on their own standards. In reality, nobody knows what the person’s heart looks like. You never know when the person is going through tormentous times, and instead the Korean community will throw rocks. |
"In Korean culture, even if you are dirt poor you must drive a nice car. Even if your bones melt from working too hard, you must have a nice house to educate your kids in. Even if you eat instant noodles at home, you have to buy nice clothes for when you are outside."
Do you think the problem you’ve recognized in the Korean community roots from their immense sense of pride?
Koreans have a needlessly big sense of pride. In Korean culture, even if you are dirt poor you must drive a nice car. Even if your bones melt from working too hard, you must have a nice house to educate your kids in. Even if you eat instant noodles at home, you have to buy nice clothes for when you are outside. I think this habit only disappears after you’ve lived here for a while. After that, I didn’t even care what other people think. I didn’t bother myself with other people, but I also didn’t do anything to bring them harm. I thought the best way to protect myself was to keep my interactions with other people at bay. In the end, that’s how my depression and bipolar disorder worsened. One thing that the Korean community really lacks is volunteers. They just don’t do volunteer work. But in American culture, volunteering is really popular. I wish the Korean community could see the importance of volunteer work. Even for me, after I’ve received multiple services through non-profits, I am inspired and encouraged to start volunteering. After you’ve suffered this much from the immigration life, do you have any thoughts on returning back to Korea? I’m sorry to say this, but I cannot return to Korea. I have become an American. Returning to Korea is something I might conjure up in my dreams. There is no place as beautiful as our Korea. It might be small, but it is a country that God has blessed. I have been backpacking all over the world. Every time I made ten thousand dollars, I would leave the country and travel for around seven months. Seven years ago, I went on a mission trip to Myanmar, Laos, and Cambodia. While I was there, I suffered from pneumonia due to lack of nutrition and overexertion. During that time, my pneumonia got so bad that I became paralyzed all over my body. I had to get around by crawling or riding a wheelchair. Moving around was doable when I was young, but after I got my disability I had no savings so I had to live homeless for two years in D.C. And after that, I moved to Los Angeles because my doctor recommended that I move to someplace with better weather. But when I moved here, I lived for months again as a homeless person. Do you know what is the worst part of being homeless? It’s that you have nowhere to maintain basic cleanliness. Five or six years ago, I started receiving aid for my disability. The thing about the United States is that if you knock on doors, they will open for you. You don’t get that kind of opportunity in Korea. Even if it's hard, you can survive in America. Still, I hold Korea very near my heart, as well as America. But Korean-Americans never vote or run for office. If they are not civically engaged, then the community cannot receive funds to help their people. And if we develop a voter presence among our Korean American community, do you think the politicians would be able to ignore us? It seems like an obvious thing to vote for the betterment of your community, but Korean-Americans do not have that drilled into their heads. Why do we waste our right to vote? There is a better benefit waiting to be taken. It is such a waste. But my hope is that the younger Korean-American generation will have a towering presence in whatever field they go into. I believe that Koreans have more good qualities than bad qualities. Our passion is unparalleled. We came from nothing, and our only resources were our people. That was Korea’s biggest asset. And what I want to say is, Korea’s greatness doesn’t just come from its citizens living on their land, but also their Korean-American family living here. I hope that Korea realizes that and invests into Korean-Americans. And for the Korean-Americans, we can pay them back by running for local offices and voting. I hope that we can become a community that helps each other grow and help each other learn. I had a mentor who was a professor at a university on the east coast, and he confessed to me, “Hai Jeong, I thought I was truly an American. I became a university professor in my 20s, and as a Korean American I became the dean. But I recently realized, I am a Korean. I realized that I, as a Korean, cannot completely integrate and become a full American. Even if we study hard, even if we graduate from Harvard, we are Korean”. We as Koreans cannot forget this. |